What do you think of my poem. I'm sorry i keep asking?

That was preety long lol but yea it felt like a song at first then i started getting a picture...ill suggest you just keep the work going and when you see any error try to correct it and let your soul connect with what you writting let intensity flow and the pion come through, that way your readers would be captivated and more motivated by what you write...im also a poet and trust me that stuff is not beans and rice its hot cake, good job never the less