Do you like this part of my story? And would you read this?

At first the story seemed nice and i couldnt find a problem with it, but near the end it seemed a bit weird: "With a roar they charged towards the girls running up the wall. Kray whipped out her sword spinning it eloquently around her. Her ice blue eyes had a fire in them. She charged at the closest monster swinging her sword around her head. She would make a move and the monster would make a move. With each move there was a deafening crash. Metal meeting teeth. Kray made the fight look like a dance that was rehearsed. But she made the wrong move." Usually when people fight, you wouldnt really notice how graceful they look or how they were like dancing, especially when they are fighting monsters. Some of the sentences dont go well together, its a bit non- coherent. Overall the story is very interesting. By this story I think you are around 13-15. Your writing is good with only a few mistakes, and since very few young people would write about fiction with monsters in it, i think you might be 14, but im not very sure.